Tag: pub

Upside Down

Reading Time: 9 minutes

Mr Rude-froth,

Blind dead, sad and stupid after the death of cupid, harrow. Follow the furrow, chasing the fucking ploughlads out of the field. Wielding a gun, son, threatening to shoot everyone. No nose, no eyes, no mouth, no more. MORE! Had a crisis last weekend, in case you couldn’t tell.

In brief, I collapsed in the pub in the early hours of Saturday morning. Woke up at 7a.m. and didn’t know who I was or what I was or where I was and I’d pissed the bed. Felt drugged, felt like I’d been spiked, Steve and the Geez had to help me upstairs and put me in one of the guest rooms. Turns out someone was buying me drinks and making me drink quick (I drink at my own pace, learned to, remember the days of me swilling ’em down and doing the collapse calypso) in a stupid ‘I can drink more than you game’.… Read more

Wibbly Wobbly

Reading Time: 8 minutes

Sire,

Vaseline, germaline and vicks, that’s Keith’s winter survival kit. The leaves are falling from the trees, the sun is much lower in the sky. I’m stoned and wondering about this ‘n that, no music on, listening to the clock tick and the fridge gurgling and the noises of the house, time for a bit of thinking. Spent a week without going to the pub, they phoned the other night to see if I was o.k. and I had to promise to be in tonight, will get shot if I don’t. Am ready for it again, oh yes, let’s get mental. With a little help from Miss hash and Miss vodka, the cutest little ladies you have ever seen, one’s a bit lumpy and the other one’s very transparent, but they are so beautiful, baby, beautiful.… Read more