Reading Time: 6 minutes

Whooo-ee Mrs!

It’s Friday and I’m stoned off me map and just embarking on another vodka frenzy, fine. Had a few days off, needed to, the last frenzy went on forever and ever and landed with a big bump at the end of last weekend. So I chilled out with a big lump of (suprisingly good) solid for a few days and made the most of what sun we’ve had, I went for a long walk on the beach up to Sandsend and back, walked in the sea, cold but nice, it was a powerful tide that day, going out, off my trolley. I need to talk about Peek-A-Boo Man while I can, before it’s too late, it’s getting weirder, he’s getting stranger.… Read more


Reading Time: 2 minutes


Long time gone, long time, longtime gone; gone, gone, gone: Gong. “Put yer ‘ands up, I’ve gorra gone.” Oh dear, deary, deary, deary me. Well, old chap. Sat – 1st May. Riley’s birthday. Woke up feeling like shit. Got pissed and stoned with R. Took him to pub. Got an E put in me gob.. Bought gram rock of coke. Botheration, pish, fish, fish ‘n shit, halibut,t,t,t,t. Lightly killed frog. Bristlin’. Daylight glistening. Nostril twitch ‘n sniff. Aaahhh! In pub merrily. Verily the Endeavour. Beautiful young woman walks in. At bar looks round and smiles at me. I smile magical smile back. Before I could go and say hello she came up and introduced herself. We had a great night (and as she was leaving on monday morning) I asked her out.… Read more