Spider Webbed

Reading Time: 7 minutes

Hello Matey-Pops,

Keith’s daughter, Emma, is here, she drove down yesterday after working a 130 hour week, nursing in Edinburgh. It’s 5pm Sunday and she was tired so Keith and I came down here so she could crash out for a bit. She’s crashed out on keith’s bed and he’s crashed out on mine ‘cos he got arseholed on White Lightening all day. I’ve not been having a good time, felt shite about not being able to stay in touch with Lucy, plus the usual crap. It’s really horrible to have painful thoughts and feelings that you can’t control. I was really tired after all the hard work for the festival and instead of taking it easy, the flow was in the opposite direction, an upwards velocity, burning, burning, and I was burning the candle at all three ends.… Read more

Topping Up

Reading Time: 9 minutes

Sirrah,

Twenty one, twenty three, me and you, you and me. The Sky. The Sea. The clouds are loud, and in a crowd. Dead house. And now for the shipping forecast, before we join the weird surface. Kidney stream. Bint. On a tripod, a glove. Wash the glove, bacon. Annex the coast t’ toaster. Wish it down with tea from’t china c’up. Had Pentangle on, now it’s a Platipus comp. (vol. 3). Iffy, iffy, let’s get squiffy. Put it yon side of temptation. Cider sensation. And now… Moo, belch, of course, it’s, (phonetic equivalent of), (speeded-up, farted-out, slowed-down), Meditive. U Wot? Fish issues, percolate. Horlics horticulture. * Mr. Gall. (The). Yo-Ho. The oven is on, ready for the bread, and maybe a fish-cake if you are lucky.… Read more

Munter

Reading Time: 13 minutes

Hello boss,

What about wormy meat then, eh? Meat with worms in it. Lollipops children. Peek-A-Boo-Man has complained about my ‘incense’ again (I told him it was incense), very nicely and politely though (he’s softly spoken and has a ‘posh’ accent), so I might have to deck the cunt. No, violence isnt nice, so I will just fucking ignore him.

Two chickens. I’m not seeing with my eyes, I’m seeing with my mind. Had a beakfull of charlie, it’s very nice, rock, it’s a cunt chopping it. Gray day, fine drizzle falling. Shining in my head, I need it ‘cos I can feel the intensity of my ‘X-mass experience’ coming and I’m going to have to charge through it like a fucking bull and not come up for breath till January.… Read more

Two Fried Eggs

Reading Time: 10 minutes

“Well Ruth, I’m never ever going to see you or hear from you ever again am I. I hope not. Thank fuck for that, you nearly killed me you fucking cold-hearted evil bitch. You knew what I’d been through with that stupid poison dwarf Moira and how she tried to take me on and destroy me and how I had to drag the stupid bitch to her edge, not my edge of course, and scare the fuck out of her, she asked for it and she got it and will never speak to me again, but the daft poisonous little oaf has the fucking brass-neck to come into the pub tonight with ***** my dutch ex-mate (they are now an item) and sit there and laugh and sing, so I sat in the back room with ***** who calmed me down ‘cos I was trembling like fuck and ready to kick off, but no need ‘cos I already proved me point the other day in there when I fuckin kicked off at her but managed not to hurt anyone especially myself, which is most important of course even though I forget that a lot ‘cos I’ve been to the place of razoring my arm and I’m not going back there and also, only, therefore I couldn’t give a fucking shite, anyone wants a go, I’m here, disturbed, frustrated, on the razor-edge of nowhere, lost it, slipped away thru my fingers, do me a fucking favour, put me out of my fucking misery but oops, you slipped, saw you, silly, silly, big mistake – YOU’RE IT.… Read more

Little Ron

Reading Time: 7 minutes

Oh Bugger!,

Not really mate, something’s happened, I’ve cracked it, thank fuck for that, last years shite is last years shite. Had a fuck of a X-mass and new year, blew me fucking brains out, had everything but sex – laughter, tears, violence, bodies and anti-bodies, the ghost of beautiful, sleek, black Ronnie (used to call him Little Ron), lithe and lean, found him in the market place when I had my stall, he was tiny, tired, scared and starving and had a seagulls white feather stuck to one of his whiskers. I’m crying for him. Managed to get hold of him by putting a bowl of food out and put him in cat basket under the stall. Talked gently and lovingly to him and soothed him, his eyes were so fucked he wouldn’t have lasted much longer, he’d been seen, living rough, for a few days, bless him.… Read more

FUBAR

Reading Time: 9 minutes

Ey Up Chupa Chup,

Dream and reality are merging and I can no longer distinguish one from the other. Mind at the end of the tether! Can’t prise last-night apart from itself to discover what was dreamt and what was not. I was rigging a vacuum-cleaner up to P.A.B.M’s door handle and he opened his door, saw me and shouted, I ran upstairs laughing. I was warming up rice-pudding in the nude when Keith knocked and walked in, I put a towel round me. All that is real, it happened. It’s the next bit that’s shaky, trembling like. Did he try it on or try to pull the towel off and did I grab him by the throat and say “If you ever do anything like that again I will fucking kill you,”?… Read more

TLOGG

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Hello,

Long time gone, long time, longtime gone; gone, gone, gone: Gong. “Put yer ‘ands up, I’ve gorra gone.” Oh dear, deary, deary, deary me. Well, old chap. Sat – 1st May. Riley’s birthday. Woke up feeling like shit. Got pissed and stoned with R. Took him to pub. Got an E put in me gob.. Bought gram rock of coke. Botheration, pish, fish, fish ‘n shit, halibut,t,t,t,t. Lightly killed frog. Bristlin’. Daylight glistening. Nostril twitch ‘n sniff. Aaahhh! In pub merrily. Verily the Endeavour. Beautiful young woman walks in. At bar looks round and smiles at me. I smile magical smile back. Before I could go and say hello she came up and introduced herself. We had a great night (and as she was leaving on monday morning) I asked her out.… Read more

Ginchy Wig

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Hello

I am in limbo. It will be over soon, I hope. One way or the other. I got out of that house – Belle Vue – two weeks ago, but it is still torturing me. I was evicted for ‘violent and abusive behaviour whilst intoxicated’, you fuckin’ bet I was fuckin’ intoxicated’. I am crashing on sofas and most of my belongings are in storage. I am exhausted and emotional. My friend is asleep on his setee with Ready Steady Cook on t.v. I seem to be aching and tense everywhere. I cannot eat. I am trying to get through whatever is happening to me but I’m not quite sure what it is anymore. I had to get out of that house for lots of reasons.… Read more